a few days ago

i received a message in the mail

a letter by my former self

journaling about my previous tribulations

as i read the faded ink

i retreated to a time where

i hid in the shadows

background noise that filled up everywhere

yet nowhere at all

i was a filler for my classrooms

contributing to a quota and a daily school check

listened to alternative music

to channel the angst

that i held inside

the letter was an ode

to where i could not speak

only expressing my feelings

in the form of destruction

today i write

to send an ode

to my former self

i love her

but she doesnt love me, too